Welcome to the loved list for 2020, a partially reconstructed assortment of recommendations of things to watch, read, listen to or otherwise explore that were shared in my newsletter throughout the year.

While no means definitive — not everything I consumed made it into the newsletter, and I’ve taken out all the time-sensitive links like live events or submissions opportunities — it remains an incomplete, imperfect time capsule of some of the things that wormed their way into my brain and heart this year.

📖 READ

“Where does the inner critic come from? Family; school; so-called friends. This racist, classist, ageist, sexist shit-show that is late-capitalist society. We’ve all been rejected, shamed and blamed to varying degrees. And lo, our psyche conjures up an inner critic to keep our wounded self safe by haranguing us into smallness. Perversely, we use the same tactics against ourselves that were used against us. We criticise, we sneer, we hate but the inner critic can also appear reasonable and rational. Don’t bother with this, it whispers. There are better things ahead. But then it turns on you: Loser, you never finish anything. You’ll never be good enough. Because what it wants is for you to stop or preferably never start.”
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My amazing pal and treasure trove of writing wisdom Kerry Ryan, creator of the worldwide phenomenon that is Write Like a Grrrl, has a new column agony-aunting for Dear Damsels, and you can read the first instalment here. There’s no way I’d still be writing without the many, many cheerleading sessions and tough-love talking-tos Kerry has given me over the years, so I’m hyped that you can experience that now too. This first one totally reminds me of the Dear Sugar columns by Cheryl Strayed (collected into Tiny Beautiful Things, which is a brilliant book) and honestly I can give no higher praise than that.

The latest issue of Under the Radar magazine, and not just because it features some new fiction from me. My short story Televised Revolutions, Then Noodles is about two women working at a twenty-four hour news station in the aftermath of a series of a terrorist attacks., then going out for Thai food. It’s quiet, and slow, and a bit gay if you’re looking for that (I always am). You can order your copy here.

If you’ve listened to almost any podcast whatsoever over the past year, you’ve probably heard adverts for Better Help and other similar online therapy services. And on the face of it, it seems ideal: therapy that’s geographically and financially accessible, flexible and on your schedule. But what happens to the data you share with services like this? Is it safe to entrust your mental health to an algorithm aimed at matching you with the right therapist? Do you want the social media apps you use tailoring the adverts they show you based on supposed-to-be-confidential data indicating you’re anxious or depressed? This is a world that’s murky af. I’m not here to talk anyone out of getting therapy – there are as many happily-every-after testimonials about Better Help as there are horror stories – but if it’s something you’re considering, please go in with your eyes open. This write-up is a really good place to start.

Never Say You Can’t Survive is solid advice for 2020, and life more generally, but it’s also the name of Charlie-Jane Anders‘ book, subtitled ‘how to get through hard times by making up stories.’ As a writer, therapist, and big believer in the therapeutic role of stories, it’s totally my jam: a combination of how-to insights about the craft of storytelling combined with personal memoir and reflections on living through unprecedented times. Tor published it online chapter-by-chapter, and you can read the introduction and first chapter here.

🎧 LISTEN

The forthcoming reboot of nineties classic The Craft made me nostalgic for the original and all its we-are-the-weirdos-mister magick, so I loved this interview with Rachel True (who played Rochelle in the original film and is herself a practising witch), talking about the making of The Craft; the racism she experienced in the aftermath of its release; her own magickal practice; and her forthcoming book and tarot deck.

Unseen, an urban fantasy fiction podcast with a simple premise: in a world where magic is real but invisible to almost everyone, the few magical beings that do exist struggle, every day, just to be seen. Each weekly episode is a different single-performer story, and the ones I’ve listened to so far (it’s currently halfway through its first season) have all been brilliant: atmospheric, unsettling, emotional and with fantastic, thoughtful and diverse writing and acting.

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📺 WATCH

Dragula: Resurrection. In a year when Halloween was close to cancelled, I couldn’t be more thankful that the Boulet Brothers — who combine high-octane horror and ghoulish, gore-soaked glamour with absolute art in everything they do — brought us a new show with so many of my favourite drag performers. The Boulet Brothers have such an inclusive, subversive, punk, political and celebratory approach to drag — all combined with a spooky aesthetic that gives my inner goth kid so much joy, so I can’t tell you how much I loved this one-off feature-length special.

This Wxtch Craft cycle of seven lectures featuring an all-star cast including Johanna Hedva, adrienne maree brown and even Silvia Federici.

No more dining on thine wine and pheasants / Bring a pitchfork and a torch / We’re some well armed peasants. 2020 saved its best ‘til last: this medieval WAP parody about overthrowing capitalism.

🔮 MISC

42nd Street is a brilliant youth mental health charity here in Manchester. I’ve admired the work they do for years. So I was dead chuffed to be one of eleven artists chosen to collaborate with them over six months or so during 2020, mentoring young people to explore their responses to the pandemic through creativity. I was matched with an amazing young writer, Noor Rubani, and she was a total joy to work with. Over the course of our collab, she made Noorie’s Lightbulb, a zine about her experiences as a young South Asian woman, sharing insights from key lightbulb moments in her life. It’s totally brilliant; really authentic, generous and sincere. Here’s a conversation we had about the project on YouTube.